The Emotional Energy Factor

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Who doesn´t want to have “more energy”?

That´s why we consume caffeine, power drinks and even drugs.

We don´t need more physical energy, however. We need more emotional energy.

Emotional energy can override physical exhaustion and keep you awake, interested and going …

Emotional fatigue can keep you from living a full life, and yet a lot of us have suffered or suffer from it to a certain degree.

The first step to overcome emotional fatigue is to recognize and acknowledge it. Worry, anger, envy, unresolved business, mental and physical clutter and toxic interactions are just some of the culprits.

The solution to emotional fatigue is not eliminating problems – they will always arise in one form or another – but facing them and solving them.

A bad marriage, a layoff, an endless to-do list, an illness, can all trigger emotional fatigue. So can daily irritations if we let them build up without an appropriate outlet.

Performing an act of kindness, practicing a sport, creating art, enjoying the company of uplifting friends and playing with your children can increase your emotional energy.

If you feel drained, tired, irritable, listless, and otherwise unenthused with life:

• Visit a doctor to rule out any physical ailment and of course clinical depression
• Get enough sleep
• Exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet
• Take care of your appearance. Knowing you look good makes you feel good!
• Learn something new. Sign up to a class or read a book about a topic that interests you
• Make dates with yourself and enjoy your time alone
• Create art: draw, cook, take pictures, write, dance, crochet, whatever you feel compelled to do
• Minimize interactions with toxic people (the kind that drain you) and increase interactions with uplifting folks (the kind that make your heart smile)
• Learn to say no (to things you really don´t want to do)
• Prioritize
• Pray or meditate (you don´t have to be religious to do this)
• Eliminate clutter from your home, your closet and your mind. Throw or give away what you no longer need.
• Have a written “to do” list or a planner so you aren´t always “on” and trying to remember things
• Take yourself, and life, with a grain – or many – of salt. We are all going to die in the end, you know! But … don´t drain yourself by worrying about that too!

Recommended reading:

The Emotional Energy Factor, by Mira Kirshenbaum

www.lorrainecladish.com

Live by Reasons, Not Excuses!

Who hasn’t made excuses for not doing something we really want or need to do? If we wait for the perfect time to have a baby, to get married, to get divorced, to take up a sport, to write a book, go back to school, move, take up painting, dancing, photography or whatever it is we want to do, the perfect time will never come. Life always gets in the way, and that’s a good thing. It means we’re alive.

Why not rephrase each excuse and turn it into a reason?

Simple? Yes.

Easy? No.

But that’s life.

Excuse – I don’t feel like exercising

Reason – If I exercise I will feel better

Excuse – I don’t know enough about the subject to write a book about it

Reason – If I write a book about the subject, I’ll learn while I research

Excuse – I don’t have money to pay for a gym membership

Reason – If I pay the gym membership and use it, I’ll save money on meds

Excuse – I’m too old to go to back to college

Reason – If I go back to college, I will be able to get a better job when I’m older

What excuses do you give yourself, and how can you rephrase them into reasons?

www.lorrainecladish.com

Committed, by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Book

I checked out Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert – author of Eat, Pray, Love, out of curiosity. I’d listened to her first book at a timely moment in my life. It was a Godsend.


What I found in Committed were countless paragraphs that I wanted to underline (but couldn’t since the book belongs to the library) because they hit home.

I recommend the book to any woman who is haunted by her exes, who hates them or loves them, who is in love again or wants to be or doesn’t want to be, who is divorced, married, single, widowed, dating, sworn off men, young, old, a mom, a non-mom. I recommend it to any woman who wonders what makes a marriage successful, or if it is even healthy to marry, to divorce or all of the above. That may very well be all women. 

“Part of what makes the experience of divorce so dreadful is the emotional ambivalence. It can be difficult, if not impossible, for many divorced people ever to rest in a state of pure grief, pure anger or pure relief when it comes to feelings about one’s ex spouse. Instead, the emotions often remain mixed up together in an uncomfortably raw stew of contradictions for many years,” states Gilbert.

Finally, someone owns up to this publicly. If you have kids, then this is compounded because you have to somehow interact with that person with whom you have so many unresolved issues. And, unresolved they may be forever. It might be a matter of learning to live with it and using that experience towards your next relationship.

Elizabeth Gilbert

She also reminds us that the person we choose (and hopefully chooses us) as a partner at different times in our life defines who we are at that moment. Both people are in it, and no manner of one-sided finger pointing will change that. It’s not easy to acknowledge, but I can relate to it.  

Gilbert mentions a study by the naturalist William Jordan, Divorce Among the Gulls, where he explains that seagulls – a species that mate for life – have a 25% “divorce rate”. Sometimes two seagulls just don’t get along. They bicker and complain and don’t communicate. After a couple of seasons of this, they go off and find other “spouses”.

“And here’s the kicker”, says Gilbert: “Often their ´second marriage´ is perfectly happy and then many of them do mate for life.”

“Imagine that, I beg you! Even among birds with brains the size of camera batteries, there does exist such a think as fundamental compatibility and incompatibility (…). The situation is the same for humans. Some of us drive each other nuts; some of us do not. Maybe there is a limit to what can be done about this.”

This is enlightening, and explains why some people have grand relationships with one particular person but strife-ridden relationships with someone else and yet they are – in essence – the same person. Mix oil and water as vigorously as you want, and you get nothing but oil and water, separated. Mix oil and an egg yolk, beating it smoothly and continuously and presto: mayonnaise! Of course, mayonnaise can also separate if it spoils. But, there are ways to prevent that. 

Gilbert wrote Committed when she and the love of her life found they had to marry so he would not be deported. The glitch was that they had promised each other not to marry – ever - after having both experienced shattering divorces. 

She then decided to study the institution of marriage and the ins and outs of commitment, of infatuation, of maturity, of compatibility, of loving someone because of who they are and not because of who you would like them to be. There is no tidy conclusion to it, as there is no tidy conclusion to relationships or even life. 

I enjoyed it. A lot. Now I’m going to buy my own copy, so I can highlight the heck out of it. 

www.lorrainecladish.com 

Wacky Cookies - A Creative Woman´s Solution to the Financial Bust!

Aymee Van Dyke

Have you ever been instantly drawn to a stranger in the midst of a crowd? That´s how I felt towards Aymee Van Dyke (neé Rodriguez) when I met her at a networking event three years ago when she was promoting her personal development biz. She has great energy and many virtues and talents – too many to fit into a blog post – but in this entry I´ll focus on her Wacky Cookies venture. Aymee makes beautiful and mouth-watering cookies that are more than that … they are a gourmet experience.

Aymee was – as  many of us – hit by the financial bust. That’s when she launched her cookie business. Read on if you want to be inspired!

LCL.-  When and how did you start Wacky Cookies?


AVD.- I started Wacky Cookies from my home  in 2008.  My Personal Development business was in a slump. The economy ripped and people were no longer investing in themselves... I had started baking when I was 3, flouring pans for my mom who was a cake designer and owned a restaurant and catering business, and saw that there was a renaissance of comfort food due to the situation with the economy. I started by making a batch of cookie pops… My mom used to make those and I loved them as a kid.


LCL.-  What sets you aside from other Cookie ventures?


My kids´ favorite Wacky Cookies!

AVD.- We bake everything fresh to order.. I mean we even hand mix the cookie dough.. And cut each cookie by hand.. Nothing is produced by a machine. Everything is 100% fresh. Our icings are mixed with nothing but the best and kosher ingredients. I don’t use vegetable shortenings or any of that artificial stuff that is normally in cookies, no artificial preservatives.  I figure if you are going to have something decadent, it might as well be the best...  
I customize cookies. You can call me and I can have a cookie cutter made for a special occasion and we can customize everything from the taste, to the color to your name.  

We are an Internet-based business (closed bakery/no storefront) which allows me more time to personalize our service, instead of having to constantly "drop" what we are doing to rush to the front of the shop and take care of people who come in.  We deliver cake and cookies to you! No hassles with picking stuff up. We bring it to your doorstep.

Organic Princess Cake

LCL.- What is your definition of Success?

AVD.- My definition of success is doing what you love to do all day, every day and being paid for it...That is the ultimate success! My greatest achievement was when I went out of my comfort zone to make a last minute princess castle for a 4-year-old little girl.  She loved it! The sugar work took me two days (which is actually not that long in the cake business) but it was just beautiful. When we delivered it to her hotel, everyone in the lobby gasped that was a great moment for me. Very humbling.
 


My biggest goals for the future: I have to say I would LOVE to become the Sylvia Weinstock of cookies.  She is considered the Da Vinci of cakes, and well, she is just a remarkable cake designer.  As a cookie designer I am always trying to learn new techniques and my biggest desire is to continue to grow and develop my skills as a sugar artist. There is so much room for innovation in this field. I want to take cookies to a whole new level.  A cookie, as an edible piece of art can make a happy occasion into an amazing one. It can also transform a person’s mood if they are having a particularly bad day.  
 


Website and email: www.WackyCookies.com

email: sales@wackycookies.com
 

tel no : 703-330-2264 
 

www.lorrainecladish.com

Cafe Barcelona in Naples, Florida, standing strong thanks to its Mediterranean cuisine

Cafe Barcelona in Naples, Florida

Having been born in Spain and living in Florida, I yearn for a place where I can meet with friends, eat paella, gazpacho, Serrano ham and drink a good Spanish wine indoors or out on the patio.

Montse Bonache at the Cafe

In Naples, Florida, there is such a place. Its name is Café Barcelona and the owners Pedro Casoliba and Montse Bonache, have withstood the recession thanks to their Mediterranean cuisine.

Over twenty restaurants have closed in the coastal town of Naples, Florida, in the Gulf of Mexico in the last year. Café Barcelona, however, that opened its doors in 2005 is still standing, and always offering tasty and affordable menus.

It is where Spaniards and everyone else who enjoys tapas, comes to celebrate anything from New Year’s Eve to the simple fact of being able to chat with friends while drinking sangria and dancing Sevillanas.

Angela and I dancing Sevillanas

There is now a $29.00 meal for two that includes a free bottle of wine, that you can enjoy al fresco, while listening to the strumming of a Spanish guitar. 

Montse and Pedro are veterans in the restaurant business. They started out in their native Barcelona and later on they had businesses in Costa Rica and the Dominican Republic, which catered to the palates of patrons who enjoy exquisite Spanish tapas.

Success is standing strong during and after a recession, adapting to change and always offering reasonable options for the most discerning diners.

Follow Café Barcelona on Facebook.

Address

336 13th Ave. S.

Naples, FL, 34102

Phone:

1-239-2617498

To know more about me and my books:

www.lorrainecladish.com

Follow me on Facebook.

What to do When You´re Feeling "Off"

Some days, you’re just “off”. It happens to me and in fact, it happened today. Despite being a fan of positivity and being proactive, some days I´m just not feelin´ it, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m so used to setting priorities, organizing my projects and taking the steps required to achieve a goal, that when I have a blah day I feel a little embarrassed to admit it, even to myself!

Jet-lagged and a tad overwhelmed by maternal, domestic and professional responsibilities, today I felt out of sorts.  

At a certain point I resolved to do what I recommend to others when they tell me they’re having an “off” day: accept it!

From that point on, I found it easier to cope with.  

I suggest that if you have a day or even a week when you are out of sorts, you be nice to yourself. If you are usually a doer, that is not going to change.

Don’t flagellate yourself. Be reminded of your virtues, the good things in life and accept that you cannot be 100% all of the time and that’s not a failure.  Just like the tide, our mood and our energy ebb and flow.

On the other hand, if we did not have moments of apathy, we wouldn’t recognize those in which we are focused, motivated and energetic.

www.lorrainecladish.com

Nike Was Right! Just Do It! It Works!

Most people decide to lose weight, exercise, write a book, or anything else, and then they spend many hours, sometimes days, weeks, months and even years getting ready to start!

The result is often a garage filled with unused equipment, unread books, money wasted on workshops and dreams gone down the drain, plus a huge feeling of failure.

I suggest doing just the opposite. It´s always worked for me.

I make a note of my goal, and then I start taking steps to accomplish it. Once I´ve hit the road running, I search the resources available out there to improve my style, my output or my technique or whatever I need to work on. That´s how I approach the arts, sports, writing, work and more.

I don´t need the perfect running shorts to start running. I don´t need to have the perfect office space to write. I don´t even need to have money! I don´t need to know the perfect sketching technique to enjoy doing it.

If you don´t exercise, there is no style to improve or no routine to add on to. You can spend a lifetime talking about the book you will write and take a gazillion workshops. But you will have no craft to hone if you don´t well … write!

In a nutshell, this is the Just Do It tagline that Nike made so popular, but heck, it works!

So … Just Do It!

Do it imperfectly, do it little by little, do it when and how you can, but Do It!

Do it, and in one month, please check back and let me know what happened!

www.lorrainecladish.com

How to Find Time to Pursue your Dreams!

“I don´t have the time” is the most frequent excuse for not pursuing a dream. You can turn a dream into a goal by putting it on paper and then give it a deadline.

But, how do you find the time to devote to your dream, whether it be writing a novel, learning how to crochet, beading, running a marathon, going back to school or taking tap-dance classes?

I´m going to be very simplistic about it, because it really is simple. I also won´t concentrate on the money part, which I promise to discuss in another entry.

1.- Make a list of all the things you do on any given day that you really DON´T NEED to do, but that you do anyway. Some have become habits and may be so ingrained that you hardly notice. Here go a few common ones:

            - Surfing the Internet

            - Playing video-games

            - Indulging in social sites

            - Chatting

            - Watching TV

            - Gossiping

2.- Now make a list of the things you WANT to do but don´t because you think you don´t have time for them. They could be anything, but here are some examples.

            - Write a book

            - Train for a 5k, a half marathon or a marathon

            - Take beading classes

            - Start a home-based business

            - Take belly-dancing lessons

            - Swim laps

 3.- Now vow to stop, COLD-TURKEY, doing the things in LIST 1 and presto, you have time to do the things in LIST 2.

It´s not rocket science, but it works. I pared down my already pared-down life and in the past three weeks managed to rack up 175 pages of my next book so far. And I thought I didn´t have the time! Well, I proved myself wrong, didn´t I?

Well, so can you!

www.lorrainecladish.com

BlackPata - Body Sculptures

When something inspires me, I like to share.

A few days ago, my eldest brought me a set of rings and bracelets made of aluminum and various stones and shells. They were original and surprising.

The designer is Enrique Recio and the brand of jewelry, which is in fact composed of sculptures that mold to the user’s body is BlackPata. 

For me, one of the descriptions of success is to make real something that started out as the seed of an idea or a moment of inspiration. If besides that it penetrates the market, then it is an even greater success. 

That other people read your books or wear your jewelry thus affecting their lives in one way or another, is success.

If you are daring, if you are different, if you like to admire art and especially wear it, I suggest you visit the website www.blackpata.com to see this particular jewelry collection, the design of which does not finish until you wear it and mold the pieces to you. Especially the bracelets and necklaces. 

The other day I was writing the novel I have underway now and admiring the BlackPata Collection inspired me to go forward and break through writer’s block.

Get inspired!

www.blackpata.com

www.lorrainecladish.com

Bootcamp - Training for Stamina on the Field and in LIfe

I started running with my dad for fun when I was 12. I got shin splints so painful that I could hardly walk, but that didn’t stop me. I also did yoga, biked and swam. I’m 47 and I still do all of those things (not all at once, mind you!). I like sports where I depend on myself only to move forward and I believe that mindset is what’s given me a life-long career as a free-lance translator, interpreter and writer. 

I learned early on to be my own cheerleader.

Recently one of my best friends suggested I try a new approach to exercise: Bootcamp! At first I balked at the notion of having to stick to a schedule or get up early to work out with other people! 

However, I like to say I’m open minded, so I gave it a try. 

The personal trainer and founder of West Coast Bootcamp, Stacey Sargood asked me if I was used to exercising.

“I’m a runner,” I said proudly. 

“Let’s go then!” she replied, and in five seconds she was a mile ahead of me. The other participants passed me as soon as they laced up their shoes and I came in last. That run (at a much faster pace than I’m used to), followed by running up and down stairs, sprinting, doing push-ups, curls, jumps, circuit-training and a lot of input from Stacey, was exactly what I needed to get out of my training rut. I admit I felt like throwing up after my first session - some people actually do - but the discomfort was worth the burst of energy that resulted after that day. I also enjoyed the camaraderie and the feeling of being surrounded by women and men who are also trying to go the distance. 

Stacey’s input, corrections, her cheerleading and even her concern when I tripped and fell during a run were the fuel I needed to push my limits and feel empowered, not only on the training field but in my field of work - writing - and in life.

A sports coach will help you do what you would not push yourself to do.  A good sports coach will not let you overdo it either and will help you pace your workout. You will see and feel results very fast. 

Bootcamp has a lot in common with pursuing your goals. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes you fall, sometimes you think you can’t keep on going, but then your coach tells you that you can. She pushes you to do five seconds more, to run a little faster, to stretch a little farther.

And when you do, it spills into the rest of your life. 


Since I enrolled in Bootcamp, the book I had started writing has taken off. I thrive on less hours of sleep and I feel renewed and more enthusiastic in many ways. Even my kids are doing Bootcamp for children!

Try it, you may like it!

www.westcoastbootcamp.net

In the picture, Stacey Sargood, personal trainer and founder of West Coast Bootcamp.  Read her story on her website. 

www.lorrainecladish.com