If having money, good looks or fame were all that we needed to be happy, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson, to name a few, might have lived a little longer and in better mental and physical conditions!
Other than having our basic needs met – a place to live, food to eat, water to drink and clothes to wear – there are things we can do every day to increase our level of happiness.
Keep in mind that being mostly unhappy or mostly happy (hey, we all have ups and downs) is a choice. Some of the most successful and happy people have had crappy childhoods, abusive parents, terrible diseases, addictions, and more. Some are survivors of concentration camps. And they don’t use it as an excuse to lead a bitter life. They refuse to! That’s why they are successful … and a joy to be around.
On the other hand many people who are talented, good-looking and wealthy feel “empty”, aimless and bitter.
Joy and happiness can be learned. You can train yourself to be happy. You don´t need others to behave in specific ways for you to be happy. You do not need certain things to happen to feel joyful. I´m not trying to patronize; I know first-hand.
I learned to be a mostly happy person when I
- Stopped postponing happiness until “I made more money, until I married, until I divorced, until I published a book, lost weight, the weather got better or …” you name it …
- Realized nobody else could “make me” happy. It had to come from within. And it did
- Took action instead of waiting for things to happen
- Quit blaming and complaining and became the captain of my own ship
- Found I could laugh and have a good time even in the worst of times
- Started counting my blessings instead of lamenting my losses
- Felt good about myself on a consistent basis as a result of all of the above!
What can you do to teach yourself to be happy?
Ofú, Lory... Así es como yo pienso... Mi marido me recrimina a veces que soy "demasiado optimista"... Pero, claro, cuando ha sufrido un divorcio duro, momentos muy difíciles, falta de dinero, etc..., al superarlo, todo lo que te acontece en el día a día te parece "pecata minuta"... Lo importante es mantener la ilusión y hacer felices a los demás, independientemente de tu situación... Ya lo dijo un psicólogo muy conocido: "El pájaro no canta porque es feliz, sino que es feliz porque canta..." Es decir, la acción precede al pensamiento"... Si haces cosas positivas, pensarás en positivo... igual pasa al contrario...
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