Dealing with Domestic Violence

(c) Bioco

A friend told me she was considering going back to her ex-husband. In normal circumstances this would have been happy news, but not in this case. She has three small children, and over time she’s confessed to the following, always toning it down.

He has:

-       Shouted at her when she was sick in bed, because he couldn’t deal with changing the baby’s diapers

-       Grabbed her by the neck and threatened to punch her, while she was holding her baby in her arms

-       Thrown a coffee mug at her

-       Kicked the door open when she was in the shower

-       Come close to her face and yelled at her

-       Told her she wasn’t good enough (over and over)

Some of her excuses for considering getting back together:

-       I’ve never bled or had bruises

-       I feel bad for the kids not being with their dad

-       He apologized and promised not to do it again (but he did)

-       What if I can’t find anyone else?

-       If I were a better wife, he would not be so angry

Physical or verbal violence is never justified, especially if it becomes a way of life.

If your partner does any of the following, you are very likely a victim of domestic violence:

-       Throws things at you when he or she is in a rage

-       Has bouts of jealousy and controls who you see or talk to or where you go

-       Pushes you or hits you

-       Threatens to harm you or the kids

-       Belittles you constantly

-       Shouts at you and/or insults you

-       Forces you to have unwanted sex

-       Apologizes over and over for any of the above and when you forgive him or her, starts all over again

If you are dealing with domestic violence, please call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) as soon as possible, for help and guidance. 

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