I´ve spent the last two years cleaning up the messes of the past, and it´s a draining and emotionally and mentally taxing deal.
While doing the complex paperwork some of this entailed, I thought a little too often of what a time-waster it was and how I could be doing much more productive things, such as enjoying my kids, writing, exercising or hustling for freelance gigs.
Even sticking pins into my eyes sounded more appealing.
I also spent a little too much energy feeling angry because the spills I was cleaning up were not mine alone. I felt a little (sometimes a lot) resentful, because I was paying dearly with all my hard-earned money and my precious time, while others, equally responsible, were without a care.
I have learned this in the process, however: feeling angry and sorry for myself did not fix the problem. Asking others involved to take care of their part and being frustrated because nothing was done, certainly did not fix the problem. Taking full responsibility of it and tackling it myself did. And, even though tackling it head on also meant losing everything material – again – at the end of the process, it also meant gaining a sense of responsibility and peace of mind that is priceless.
I know people who shove unopened envelopes and other problems into a drawer, for years on end, hoping that they will stay there. Alas, they don´t. They grow, and while they do so, they eat away at your very soul and of those around you.
I recommend facing issues as they arise, since most don´t just go away. Trudging in the mud is not easy, but when you pull yourself out on dry land, you feel weightless and ready to take on the world.
Face the music and the saddest song will eventually turn into a happy tune.
