Live by Reasons, not Excuses!

You´ve heard this before: you are not your circumstances. It is, however, difficult to own this when in the midst of some kind of crisis or huge challenge. This could be the loss of a job or work, a challenging financial situation, a divorce, a mental or physical ailment, the loss of a loved one, or anything else on your list of things that may make you feel like pulling the covers over your head and not facing the world.
I´ve had my share of challenges that include all of the above and then some. I won´t pretend it´s easy to pull oneself from the bootstraps and keep on going, but it IS simple and it´s a choice. When I was in my teens and early twenties I was in the habit of blaming circumstances and others for my problems. Throughout the years I have learned that only I can DO something about my situation. I am the only one who can take myself to therapy, go to the doctor, grieve and recover, take action to fulfill a dream, or whatever else I need to do.
If you have not read Viktor Frankl´s Man´s Search for Meaning, I recommend it. After reading it you will wonder what you have to complain about, no matter how dire your circumstances and will realize that it is possible to train the mind to thrive, always.
Challenges have made me stronger. I know what I am capable of. I also know I am capable of throwing ballast out – no hanging on to the past, to resentments or regrets – and moving up.

A few things that have helped me become unstoppable and mostly cheerful:

- Find reasons to get out of a funk, not excuses to perpetuate it.

- Ask for help. If you are depressed, consult with an expert. Life is easier when lived in the solution.

- If you have a disease, find out about it (I did this with my eating disorder when I was very young and wrote a book about it), and try to help others overcome it or understand it. That is the root of most of my non-fiction books.

- Stop the blame game. Tend to your garden and watch it bloom. Nobody else can do it for you, even if you think they should.

- Make a list of all the steps you can take to overcome your current challenge. If you need work, reinvent yourself, promote your skills, take classes, job-hunt as if your life depends on it- it does!

- Be grateful – Regularly I write a list of everything I am grateful for. In dire straits, I recall writing that I was grateful that I could buy groceries for my kids. Everything else was crumbling, but we had something to eat, and we had one another.

What do you do to overcome difficulties?

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Being Deaf is not an Obstacle for Analía Camarda, Model and Artist.

Analía rarely calls me on the phone – she usually texts, but not for the reasons most people do. I met Analía Camarda on the set of the TV show En Casa con Martín Ycaza, at Telemundo43. Tall and beautiful, I took her to be a model, which she did turn out to be. One of the producers called out to her and she did not look up. He went up to her and patted her on the shoulder, and as he vocalized exaggeratedly when speaking to her up close, I realized Analía was deaf. She sat down next to the TV show host and answered his questions in front of the camera while I listened to her story, spoken in her distinctive voice. Impressed, when the program was over, I walked up to her and asked for her number.

Analía, now 28 years old, was born in Argentina, and moved to Florida with her mother and her brother, who is also deaf, a few years ago. Both siblings are deaf since childhood.

“At first I could not read people´s lips here because I did not understand or speak English”, she says. “Now I speak both English and Spanish.”
In Argentina she obtained a scholarship to study Psychology, but then she came to the United States. In the meantime she pursued her passion for modeling.
“Ever since I was a kid, I would go to casting-calls and I would be interviewed on television, to prove that even if you are deaf from a young age you can still learn how to speak. I even sang on a TV program with Xuxa,” she explains.
She is now working on producing a film about the hearing impaired. She is living her dream of being a model and participating in magazines and Latino TV shows and she recently got her diploma in Faux Finishes Art. In order to supplement her income in tough times, she works as a server in the restaurant of a hotel.
“My mother was responsible for my brother and me learning how to speak. It was a long process and we even had to relocate so that we could attend a special school. My mother taught me how to be independent and fight for my goals. She taught me how to be free, and I am very proud of her as a mother and as a person.”
Analía has also faced many challenges that are not related to being deaf, but she has no regrets.
“Suffering is good in the sense that it makes us value what we have. We can always start over. We all make mistakes, but that gives us experience and helps us be more cautious when making new decisions.”
Her advice to others who have dreams and want to turn them into goals is: “Make the best of every day. The solution is in your hands. Being deaf has not been a deterrent for me, and I have achieved more so far than many people with normal hearing. Do not let others rain on your parade. Show them you can do more than them, go farther than them!”

To get in touch with Analía Camarda - analia_camarda@hotmail.com

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

The ability to make the best of everything

I am a risk-taker and even when life throws curve-balls and I get hit by them, I have discovered I have the ability to bounce back and make the best of everything. Of course I fall and get hurt, but that doesn't mean I have to stay on the ground crying it out. I get up, dust myself off and keep on going. 

Recently I took a chance that figuratively turned out to be a slap on the face. And still, instead of wading in self pity, I found myself thoughtfully trying to make the best of it. And I did. 

An author is an author, is an author ... and if I had not taken that chance I would not now have a request from one of my publishers for my next book, number 16 in my publishing career.

Even if we are not guilty of the difficulties that we experience, we are responsible for facing them and turning them to our advantage and if possible, to the advantage of others. That is what I try to do in my non-fiction books. 

So, no regrets, ever ... simply get on with life and make THE BEST OF EVERYTHING. Nothing is good or bad. It is up to us to tip the scales in one direction or the other. Live, love, laugh ... and above all, keep taking chances. As long as I can feel, I know I am alive. 

www.lorrainecladish.com