The Art of Joy

With my latest book
Starting Over

We writers are usually neurotic. Acknowledging my neuroses helps me deal with them. By practicing sports I overcome anxiety, worry, frustration and anger. Even my kids, who are now 9 and 6 tell me: “Mommy, you need to go for a run”, because they know it lifts my spirits.

Any sport or form of exercise is the best antidepressant. That, plus a balanced and healthy diet, sleeping enough hours each night, can keep the blues at bay. On the other hand, moderation is the key.

I’ve battled with obsession and compulsion since I was a kid (that’s perhaps why I suffered from bulimia, which I address in my books Me siento gorda (I Feel Fat) and Miedo a comer (Fear of Eating), and so I set limits for myself and practice moderation in all areas of life. Ever since I ditched the scale, stopped counting calories and quit overdoing it at the gym, I’ve had a healthy weight and size and I feel better than ever, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Don´t take yourself
too seriously!

Being pessimistic or negative can become a habit that you can certainly overcome. In order to avoid being washed away by negative thoughts, I often listen to self-improvement books or anything by David Sedaris on my MP3 player.

Something as simple as smiling often and not taking myself so seriously has worked wonders in my case.

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A book of compliments

A friend asked me recently what my secret is to always looking so happy. Another friend, who I had not seen in over a year, wanted to know how I could look so "stunning" (not my words) taking into account the challenges I have been and am facing on all fronts. 

On the one hand I have grown resilient after a lifetime of weathering storms and turning most of life's curve balls into books that will help others and also myself!

On the other hand, I follow the advice I was once given - I keep a book of compliments, that I refer to when I am down, disheartened, heartbroken, fearful and more. We tend to blow off the beautiful and sincere words people may say about us, and engrave in our memories the ugly words and even the insults that we oftentimes did not deserve.

Some of the most beautiful phrases that I have jotted down in my own book of compliments lately are the following, and they keep me smiling when I have the slightest hint of self-doubt. They all come from different people (men and women) and in different circumstances, to include a business environment. None of them is from a lover or significant other, mind you!

"You are proof that time does not exist. I could converse with you for hours on end".

"I trust a woman with a laugh as sincere and fun-loving as yours".

"You are a tornado and have swept everyone in Madrid ... Too bad you didn't have more time, or you would have ended up with even more book contracts and TV shows ...".

"You are such a courageous, adventurous and positive woman ... ".

Naturally I have also been talked down to, insulted and told horrible things by other people - so is life - but I choose to push those aside and feed off the compliments that lift my spirits and my energy and motivate me to be a better person and try and erase from my mind and heart the ugly words that can only bounce back and hurt the person who pronounced them. 

I highly recommend you start your own book of compliments!

PS.- Also remember to give sincere compliments to others whenever you have the opportunity. What goes around, comes around and not necessarily from the same person.

www.lorrainecladish.com