Sharing Difficulties Helps Overcome Them

No matter how many self-help books you read, how many positive affirmations you chant, or how often you tell yourself that you build your own reality, there will be times in life when you feel that none of this is helping you to improve your situation.

If you have no work, no money to pay the bills, if your marriage is in shambles, you have health problems and your best friend turned her back on you, it´s not easy to smile.

Something I learned when I experienced some of the previous circumstances all at once, is that if you share your problems with others, they become more bearable. Not only that, but you open yourself to the possibility of receiving a helping hand. After all, if those around you don´t know you´re going through a rough patch, how can they offer to help?

Pride doesn´t fill your pantry nor does it solve problems. On the other hand, there is no reason to be embarrassed because you´re going through difficulties, no matter what they are. When I dared to share my own challenges with others, I received help I never asked for, and that, I will be forever grateful for.  

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Celebrate Your Achievements

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Every time you set out to achieve something and manage to do it, whether it’s losing ten pounds, running a marathon, getting your college degree or being faithful to your workouts, you strengthen your character. Celebrate every stepping-stone, because you’re worth it. Set aside false modesty and never underestimate your achievements. Acknowledge your successes without flaunting them, but do acknowledge them. If you don’t see yourself as a writer, a painter or a dancer, for instance, how can you expect others to?  

Achieving a goal implies overcoming a self-imposed challenge; it means that you were able to discipline yourself and make short-term sacrifices in order to reap the benefits of delayed gratification. It’s also more commendable to reach a goal that you set for yourself because you wanted to, than a goal someone else – your boss, for instance – set for you.  

What goals, big or small, have you achieved in life? What about last year? What goals would you like to reach in the next six months? And next year? In five years?  

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Mamiverse - for Latina Moms, the Hottest Demographic

Club Mami is a new social network for moms, embedded in Mamiverse, the new portal for English-speaking Latina moms. These are moms whose parents or grandparents hail from Spanish countries, but they may themselves have been born in the U.S. Their main language is English, although they are proud of their roots. According to the Daily Beast, Latina moms are the hottest demographic,¨ and we are gaining ground everywhere.

Being proud of one´s heritage breeds success, not only for ourselves, but for our children. Some Latinas do speak Spanish, as you can read in other sites, such as La Cosmopolatina, and even Spanglish.

Being bilingual and bicultural myself, I enjoy mingling with other Latinas, both online and in real life.

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Read my section Mom Recommends (Consejos de mamá) on About.com, in Spanish, for Latina moms.

www.lorrainecladish.com

Kettlebell Training Madrid® helps you stay in shape when visiting Spain

Some people stand by their dreams no matter what, and make them come true. Kettlebell Training Madrid® is the product of the commitment of Gastón Giorlando and Sandra Carbonell, both certified personal trainers and certified TRX® and Kettlebell trainers in Spain. Following is my interview with them.

LCL.-  How did the project Kettlebell Training Madrid® start?

KTM.- It was a result of our stay in Florida, where we experienced the fitness craze that is not as prevalent in Spain. There are the two extremes in the U.S.: people seem to either let themselves go or exercise to exhaustion. When we moved to Spain three years ago we realized there was a gap to be filled in the fitness field, and that we could fill it by teaching Kettlebell training. We had already experienced its benefits ourselves.

Sandra Carbonell

LCL.- What are Kettlebells and why did you choose them as a fitness routine? 

KTM.- A kettlebell is a Russian weight. They are round and have a flat base and a handle. We chose this as a fitness routing because training with kettlebells involves the whole body, unlike a gym workout, which is intended to isolate different muscle groups.

There are many benefits: you lose body fat faster than with a traditional training routine.  It tones and strengthens your muscles while giving your flexibility and resistance. It´s also a good cardiovascular workout, and therefore you can get all-over results faster. You can train anywhere with just one workout tool.

LCL.- What services do you offer?

KTM.- Seminars and training courses for personal trainers, martial arts experts, instructors, sports enthusiasts, athletes, martial arts specialists, gyms, and anybody who is interested in all-over fitness. Anybody can benefit from this type of training.

LCL.- What has been your greatest challenge? 

Gastón Giorlando

KTM.- It´s been hard to break into the fitness market in Spain. This sector is slowly embracing this type of training.

LCL.- And your greatest satisfaction?

KTM.- Seeing our clients satisfied and improving their physical shape. Our students acquire knowledge and technique that are hard to come by in Spain. Training with kettlebells requires proper technique and regular practice.   

LCL.- What would you tell someone who wants to shape up?

KTM.- First, they need to establish a clear goal and find out what their options are and not stick only to conventional forms of exercise. They should try kettlebell training and if they like it, they will soon be hooked, while getting in shape.

LCL.- What would you tell someone who has a dream that others are trying to squelch? 

KTM.- We all have dreams and it is up to each one of us to pursue them or accept what others believe. We believe in pursing the dream. If you are true to it, you will make it happen.  

KTB and their students

Visit their website: www.kettlebelltrainingmadrid.blogspot.com

Contact Kettlebell Training Madrid®: kettlebelltrainingmadrid@gmail.com

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Spanish publishing house thrives during the recession - Jirones de azul.

Interview with Rosa García Perea, Coria del Río (Sevilla) 1965

Rosa García Perea is a Spanish poet, author of “Las tres miradas del Cíclope” and “Como las manos de Pandora”, amongst others. She has taught Creative Writing and is now at the helm of the publishing house Editorial Jirones de Azul together with Esperanza García. Her first novel, Mesa para una (Table for one) will be published in October.

LCL.- What is your definition of success?

RGP.- Success is the unexpected prize you get after years of working hard and when you´ve almost stopped believing your project will come through.

LCL.- Do you think you´ve achieved it?

RGP.- I will say what Oscar Wilde said: a fool never recovers from success. That´s why I like to believe that I haven´t achieved it yet. It´s but a mirage.

LCL.- When and why did you launch the publishing house Jirones de Azul?

RGP.- Jirones started out as an e-zine in 2004, and then went to print version in 2006. In 2005 I turned 40 and I didn´t want to let such a significant age fly by without making one of my dreams come true. I also thought Seville, Spain was in need of a publishing house that opened the doors to new voices. So the first business day of 2006, I did the paperwork to establish my company. The first few months were hard, but special. I would do it all over again.

LCL.- What were your biggest challenges?

RGP.- Even though I had worked in marketing, I didn´t know the publishing business. It was also undergoing a shift – from paper to digital. And in 2006, one of the worst global recessions hit. It was like trying to sell books in a war zone.

But instead of backing off, we took it as a challenge and it´s made us stronger and be more professional. We´ve learned the hard way and every time we fall, we get up with more enthusiasm.

LCL.- And the biggest satisfactions?

RGP.- Professionally, looking back and seeing that in five years we´ve put over 200 titles out there. Many have become best-sellers, by first-time authors. Personally, when I see my team, smiling and full of energy. That erases any doubts I may have.

LCL.- What personal qualities have helped you start and keep your publishing house going?

RGP.- Mainly perseverance and knowing that I have to get up as fast as possible when I fall. Whining won´t take you places. Having a sense of humor is a must. There is nothing more important than having a sense of humor.

LCL.- What haven´t you done yet?

RGP.- Professionally, I have a lot to left to do. I´m 46 and I would start any project from stratch. I like a challenge.

Personally, I haven´t lived as much as I´d have liked to. My life is full, but I´ve missed out on personal satisfaction by putting a lot into my profession. And I´m missing children. I won´t have them, but they would have made my life fuller. I´m sure they would not have taken one bit away from my professional life.

LCL.- What would you say to those who have dreams they haven´t accomplished yet?

RGP.- Not to be afraid of their mistakes. You learn more from your mistakes than from your success. To surround themselves with good people, those that help you feel good. There is only one secret for success: work and good energy. It´s so simple that it seems impossible.  

www.jironesdeazul.com

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How to achieve your goals

Lately I’m a bit sick of all the canned positive messages, despite being the author of self-help books. The general message seems to be that we must want to achieve stardom or have the bank account balance of Donald Trump to be happy. Many people are going to get seriously depressed under that kind of pressure. Especially in this economy!

I believe it’s perfectly fine to have humble goals as long as you are ok with that. And you don’t have to travel to Tibet to meditate or wear amulets around your neck to attract positive changes in your life.  

However, even if your goals are not that big, you may find it difficult to achieve them. If so, try the following:

-       When you know what you want, take action. No matter how small, take a step in the direction of your goal. That will counteract the inertia of doing nothing about your current situation.

-       Make a plan. What will you do and by when? If you want to land a job in three months’ time, how many résumés will you send out every week? How many people will you contact on LinkedIn? What friends or acquaintances will you tell that you are looking for a job?

-       Enlist a partner. Ask a friend who has a similar goal to be your pacing partner. Giving each other support will help you keep on going when one of you wants to quit.  

-       Commit yourself. Few goals are achieved from one day to the next. Keep in mind that there will be difficult times and days when it will seem nothing is happening. Wait those moments out, and just keep going. Too many people give up right before they were about to achieve something they wanted.

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If you read Spanish, see my Consejos de mamá (Mom Recommends)

© of the photo: Fritz Langman

Happiness, a Guide to Life's Most Important Skill

A reader of my blog recommended the book Happiness: a Guide to Life’s Most Important Skill by Ricard Matthieu. I’ve read the book and listened to the audio-version too.

Based on Buddhist principles, Matthieu’s message is simple: we can learn to be happy. True joie de vivre does not depend on outer circumstances. This would make happiness precarious.

When joy comes from within, then circumstances cannot alter its basic structure. You can be upset temporarily, but you will still be basically strong of character and content.

I recommend the book or especially, the audio book.

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Overcoming Addictions

Few things build character as much as overcoming an addiction does. It could be smoking, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or being at TV-watching junkie, a coffee addict or a shopaholic.   

Admitting that an addiction interferes with your life, your relationships or your work is quite an achievement. And actually doing something about it is a success!

I overcame bulimia, which is very similar to any other addiction, with the added stress of the “drug” being something as mundane and accessible as food. It took me many years to conquer it, and the result of that was my first book: “I Feel Fat”, published in 1993, followed by “Fear of Eating”, in 2002.

However, I consider that my greatest achievement was that I never gave up, regardless of the outcome. Actually overcoming the addiction was the icing on the cake.

When you manage to overcome an addiction, which is a huge success that most people do not readily admit to, perhaps out of shame, you feel you can do anything.

What addictions or bad habits have you overcome? Which would you like to overcome? What are you going to do about it?

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Baby your dreams!

I suggest adopting a positive outlook and learning to take life with a grain or two of salt, even when times are tough. You must also be willing to do what it takes in order to live life on your own terms and not settle for less. However, you must make that happen. I believe in serendipity, I believe we attract what we are, I believe in good and bad energy. But I also know that if I weren’t typing these words, nobody would do it for me.

If you’ve been thinking for years: “some day I’ll shape up,” “If only I had time, I’d go back to college,” “If I really set my mind to it I’d write a book”, give yourself a break and do something about it.

Baby your dreams! We parents know that loving a child is wonderful and yet … who enjoys sleepless nights and having to change diaper after diaper or taking the kids to the ER (I’ve visited a few in the past days) at odd hours? Who gets a kick out of a meltdown in the supermarket? But we put up with it because we love our kids with a passion and there is no other choice.

If only we all did the same for our dreams …

Give it a try, and you may be pleasantly surprised.

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¡Take action!

In order to learn how to write, you must write a lot and the result could be terrible, mediocre, decent or exceptional. No matter how much thought you give to writing, you will only publish a book if you actually write it! You may even sign a contract based on a proposal, but – I repeat - you will only publish it if you finish the book.

This happens in every area of life. You won’t run a marathon unless you lace up your running shoes and hit the pavement. You won’t finish a college degree unless you sign up, go to class, study, write papers and take exams. You won’t get a job unless you write up your résumé and send it out, fill out applications and go to job interviews.  

You must take action. You can watch videos of people swimming or driving or doing anything else until your eyes water, but unless you swim or drive yourself, nothing will happen.

The lack of productivity is often a result of fear of failure. It’s something we writers deal with every time we sit at the keyboard.  We have to make a mental effort to convince ourselves that it’s ok to make mistakes writing, or pant while running or fail a test. The more you do, the better you will be at it and the greater your odds of achieving your goals.  

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