Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How to Keep your Spirits up During Tough Times

A good friend of mine was left by her husband after almost 20 years together and is on her own with a kid, and a clinical depression. Another friend has lost his job, been denied unemployment and broken up with his significant other all in one week. Someone else has been diagnosed with skin cancer …

How to survive tough times?

I’ve been there too one way or another, and I will share just a few things that helped me get through what seemed like endless dark nights of the soul.

- Embrace the situation and grieve no matter how dire your circumstances. I’m not just saying it. I’ve done it, and it helped to cry, to feel the pain and the desperation before I could actually be open to learn from it and move ahead.

- Make a list of everything you can be grateful for in a day. If you have no money, no job and you are sick, your list may include apparently minor things such as that someone smiled at you or that you were able to get yourself out of bed. Sometimes, that’s enough.

- Strike a balance between alone time and support time. I go into recluse mode when I need to recoup from a blow in life, but I discovered it was in my best interest to reach out for help too. Sometimes all I needed was a sounding board.

- Brainstorm, both alone and with others, to find your way through your problem. Be open-minded. Now is not the time to be stubborn!

- Pamper yourself. You may not have money to go get a professional massage, but walking on the beach or in the park is free. Take time to read, to meditate, pray or whatever brings you comfort.

It may seem trite and obvious but remind yourself that this too shall pass. It always does. One day you will look back, as I do, and wonder how you survived that dark night in your life. You will feel so much stronger ...



  1. Thank you for posting this L, You know i love you dearly. Alex

  2. You were there for me in my dark nights ...