Putting the Kids First = Success

My happy kids, the day we put up our tiny tree

Yesterday my kids and I put up our little Christmas tree, as we have done every year. Alas, this year I was a little melancholy as I realized we were preparing together for a season that – for the first time since they were born – we will not share.

The reason? Their dad is traveling from Florida to Spain for the holidays and last summer (as we were driving our 9-year old to Miami airport for her first solo trip to Spain) he asked me what I though of him taking them both to Spain this Christmas.

My first reaction back then was of hesitation – because like any mommy, I love to have my offspring around me during Christmas – but I immediately realized that such a trip would be a gift to my children, and a gift to their extended family – both mine and my exe´s.

Of course my final answer was yes. So, in a couple of weeks, I will be seeing my girls off at Miami airport so they can cross the Atlantic and reunite with their other culture, their roots and their family. So they can spend Christmas in the cold, perhaps even with snow. So they can travel by plane with their daddy – just the three of them for the first time. I know I will shed a tear after I drop them off and when I listen to Christmas carols or think of my girls waking up to Santa´s presents without me, thousands of miles away, but my heart swells because I know both their dad and I are giving them something better than material presents: memories that will last a lifetime. 

The way they are spending their Christmas – three weeks away from me in another country – is not set in our court-approved parenting schedule.

We try to put our kids first. Whichever parent has the most enriching activity planned for the kids gets to take them for as long of a time as we all agree. So this year they went trick or treating on the other side of the state with daddy so they could enjoy time with their cousins who were moving away, then they spent Thanksgiving with mommy in another city so they could enjoy their friends. Both parents e mailed pictures of the girls to each other to share their smiles and happiness.

Ah, nevertheless, allow me to wipe away my tears. I have to get ready to take my kids to the Christmas parade. Then, they spend the night with daddy, just because they want to.

We may not have succeeded in our marriage, but despite what others may think (there is always someone with a different opinion), I think we’re not doing such a bad job at sharing the custody of two well-adjusted, adaptable and confident kiddos.

In the end, our kids are the winners, and that´s the way it should be. 

www.lorrainecladish.com

Yes I Can, and so Can You!

When I was eighteen I had a crash that totaled the car I drove (my father’s). The vehicle ended up overturned on the sharp curve of a highway, with me in the driver’s seat and two other passengers. One of them was my sister. The jeep had no seatbelts, it was raining, and the cars coming out of the curve swerved to avoid us. Thankfully, they all did.

Right after what could have been a fatal accident, my sister and I were at the ER, nervously laughing and cracking jokes, numbed by the adrenaline rush, I imagine. 

As the days passed, however, I realized that it was short of a miracle that we had survived the event unscathed physically. Emotionally, not so much. The realization of what could have happened weighed down on my soul and I felt exhausted and down for a while.

That happened 29 years ago.

For the past few weeks I’ve been feeling under the weather physically and emotionally exhausted. And this was despite a great visit to my sister in San Francisco, having just finished the first rough draft of a novel, my publisher in Spain announcing that my sixteenth book will hit the stores for Valentine’s Day, being back on the saddle freelancing, my kids being healthy and my personal life fulfilling.

I felt something similar to the down after that accident 29 years ago. Most of 2009 was a symbolic wreck in my life. As I’m no longer numbed by the survival mode required in the face of extreme circumstances, I’m free to grieve and that´s what my body and soul are doing.

Had I let myself realize the scope of my hardship while I was struggling to get through the tunnel of personal, financial and professional darkness, I probably wouldn’t have made it.

Realizing that I managed to pull through during dire straits without coming apart, albeit with more grey hairs that I care to count, has given me “permission” to feel now what I couldn’t back then, when I needed all my strength, faith and health to make it through another 24 hours, one day at a time.

Now I know I can, because I did.

And no matter what you are going through now, so can you!

www.lorrainecladish.com 

Wacky Cookies - A Creative Woman´s Solution to the Financial Bust!

Aymee Van Dyke

Have you ever been instantly drawn to a stranger in the midst of a crowd? That´s how I felt towards Aymee Van Dyke (neé Rodriguez) when I met her at a networking event three years ago when she was promoting her personal development biz. She has great energy and many virtues and talents – too many to fit into a blog post – but in this entry I´ll focus on her Wacky Cookies venture. Aymee makes beautiful and mouth-watering cookies that are more than that … they are a gourmet experience.

Aymee was – as  many of us – hit by the financial bust. That’s when she launched her cookie business. Read on if you want to be inspired!

LCL.-  When and how did you start Wacky Cookies?


AVD.- I started Wacky Cookies from my home  in 2008.  My Personal Development business was in a slump. The economy ripped and people were no longer investing in themselves... I had started baking when I was 3, flouring pans for my mom who was a cake designer and owned a restaurant and catering business, and saw that there was a renaissance of comfort food due to the situation with the economy. I started by making a batch of cookie pops… My mom used to make those and I loved them as a kid.


LCL.-  What sets you aside from other Cookie ventures?


My kids´ favorite Wacky Cookies!

AVD.- We bake everything fresh to order.. I mean we even hand mix the cookie dough.. And cut each cookie by hand.. Nothing is produced by a machine. Everything is 100% fresh. Our icings are mixed with nothing but the best and kosher ingredients. I don’t use vegetable shortenings or any of that artificial stuff that is normally in cookies, no artificial preservatives.  I figure if you are going to have something decadent, it might as well be the best...  
I customize cookies. You can call me and I can have a cookie cutter made for a special occasion and we can customize everything from the taste, to the color to your name.  

We are an Internet-based business (closed bakery/no storefront) which allows me more time to personalize our service, instead of having to constantly "drop" what we are doing to rush to the front of the shop and take care of people who come in.  We deliver cake and cookies to you! No hassles with picking stuff up. We bring it to your doorstep.

Organic Princess Cake

LCL.- What is your definition of Success?

AVD.- My definition of success is doing what you love to do all day, every day and being paid for it...That is the ultimate success! My greatest achievement was when I went out of my comfort zone to make a last minute princess castle for a 4-year-old little girl.  She loved it! The sugar work took me two days (which is actually not that long in the cake business) but it was just beautiful. When we delivered it to her hotel, everyone in the lobby gasped that was a great moment for me. Very humbling.
 


My biggest goals for the future: I have to say I would LOVE to become the Sylvia Weinstock of cookies.  She is considered the Da Vinci of cakes, and well, she is just a remarkable cake designer.  As a cookie designer I am always trying to learn new techniques and my biggest desire is to continue to grow and develop my skills as a sugar artist. There is so much room for innovation in this field. I want to take cookies to a whole new level.  A cookie, as an edible piece of art can make a happy occasion into an amazing one. It can also transform a person’s mood if they are having a particularly bad day.  
 


Website and email: www.WackyCookies.com

email: sales@wackycookies.com
 

tel no : 703-330-2264 
 

www.lorrainecladish.com

Cafe Barcelona in Naples, Florida, standing strong thanks to its Mediterranean cuisine

Cafe Barcelona in Naples, Florida

Having been born in Spain and living in Florida, I yearn for a place where I can meet with friends, eat paella, gazpacho, Serrano ham and drink a good Spanish wine indoors or out on the patio.

Montse Bonache at the Cafe

In Naples, Florida, there is such a place. Its name is Café Barcelona and the owners Pedro Casoliba and Montse Bonache, have withstood the recession thanks to their Mediterranean cuisine.

Over twenty restaurants have closed in the coastal town of Naples, Florida, in the Gulf of Mexico in the last year. Café Barcelona, however, that opened its doors in 2005 is still standing, and always offering tasty and affordable menus.

It is where Spaniards and everyone else who enjoys tapas, comes to celebrate anything from New Year’s Eve to the simple fact of being able to chat with friends while drinking sangria and dancing Sevillanas.

Angela and I dancing Sevillanas

There is now a $29.00 meal for two that includes a free bottle of wine, that you can enjoy al fresco, while listening to the strumming of a Spanish guitar. 

Montse and Pedro are veterans in the restaurant business. They started out in their native Barcelona and later on they had businesses in Costa Rica and the Dominican Republic, which catered to the palates of patrons who enjoy exquisite Spanish tapas.

Success is standing strong during and after a recession, adapting to change and always offering reasonable options for the most discerning diners.

Follow Café Barcelona on Facebook.

Address

336 13th Ave. S.

Naples, FL, 34102

Phone:

1-239-2617498

To know more about me and my books:

www.lorrainecladish.com

Follow me on Facebook.

BlackPata - Body Sculptures

When something inspires me, I like to share.

A few days ago, my eldest brought me a set of rings and bracelets made of aluminum and various stones and shells. They were original and surprising.

The designer is Enrique Recio and the brand of jewelry, which is in fact composed of sculptures that mold to the user’s body is BlackPata. 

For me, one of the descriptions of success is to make real something that started out as the seed of an idea or a moment of inspiration. If besides that it penetrates the market, then it is an even greater success. 

That other people read your books or wear your jewelry thus affecting their lives in one way or another, is success.

If you are daring, if you are different, if you like to admire art and especially wear it, I suggest you visit the website www.blackpata.com to see this particular jewelry collection, the design of which does not finish until you wear it and mold the pieces to you. Especially the bracelets and necklaces. 

The other day I was writing the novel I have underway now and admiring the BlackPata Collection inspired me to go forward and break through writer’s block.

Get inspired!

www.blackpata.com

www.lorrainecladish.com

How to Keep your Spirits up During Tough Times

A good friend of mine was left by her husband after almost 20 years together and is on her own with a kid, and a clinical depression. Another friend has lost his job, been denied unemployment and broken up with his significant other all in one week. Someone else has been diagnosed with skin cancer …

How to survive tough times?

I’ve been there too one way or another, and I will share just a few things that helped me get through what seemed like endless dark nights of the soul.

- Embrace the situation and grieve no matter how dire your circumstances. I’m not just saying it. I’ve done it, and it helped to cry, to feel the pain and the desperation before I could actually be open to learn from it and move ahead.

- Make a list of everything you can be grateful for in a day. If you have no money, no job and you are sick, your list may include apparently minor things such as that someone smiled at you or that you were able to get yourself out of bed. Sometimes, that’s enough.

- Strike a balance between alone time and support time. I go into recluse mode when I need to recoup from a blow in life, but I discovered it was in my best interest to reach out for help too. Sometimes all I needed was a sounding board.

- Brainstorm, both alone and with others, to find your way through your problem. Be open-minded. Now is not the time to be stubborn!

- Pamper yourself. You may not have money to go get a professional massage, but walking on the beach or in the park is free. Take time to read, to meditate, pray or whatever brings you comfort.

It may seem trite and obvious but remind yourself that this too shall pass. It always does. One day you will look back, as I do, and wonder how you survived that dark night in your life. You will feel so much stronger ...

www.lorrainecladish.com/

10 Tips to Successfully Work from Home

Whether you are a free-lancer or have a home-based business, working at home has its peculiarities. As a free-lancer, over the years I´ve learned to adapt to doing my thing in different situations, to include a party during which I wore earplugs and sat at my computer to meet a translation deadline!

It may be difficult for others who hold regular jobs to understand that just because you don´t go to an office you are not always available. This can include members of your own family of course. If you have a home office you can shut the door to, that´s great – I´ve had it and it´s pure bliss – but if you don´t , join the ranks of people determined enough to lie down in bed propped up with pillows, while we get the job done.

1.- Block out hours on your planner during which you need to work

If you´re a freelancer and your work-load and your deadlines fluctuate, you may need to do this on a per-project basis.

2.- Dress the part even if nobody else will see you

While it´s great to be able to work in your PJs I find that I have more drive when I´m dressed and groomed and I'm more assertive when I need to be on the phone for work.

3.- Get out of the house!

Some people prefer to work in the same place because it helps them get in the frame of mind to concentrate. However, at times I prefer to go to the library, a Starbucks or the local bookstore, because there I cannot get side-tracked into cleaning or taking a nap!

4.- Turn off your e-mail and phone alerts. Better yet, turn off the phone!

Checking your e mail and answering the phone can be very distracting, and it takes time to get back into gear every time you take a call.

5.- Schedule breaks during your working time

By scheduling regular brakes every hour or two, I find it easier to stay on task

6.- Schedule free time

“Free” is the whole point of free-lancing. Free-lancers and home-based entrepreneurs may find it difficult to completely shut off work. But it's healthy to take time away from the computer or from your business, so that you can enjoy friends and family and recharge.

7.- Pace yourself

When I was younger, I was afraid of turning down free-lance gigs, so I took them all on and finished them even before deadline, even if it meant no going on little or no sleep. Now I realize that it´s ok to tell a client that I´m booked for the next two weeks. Most of the time, they can wait and I´m less frazzled.

8.- Explain your work to your kids

Your kids may not understand that your work is just as important as that of the other parent who has a regular job. Explain to them what you do for a living and if they are very young and you must work around them, tell them how long you need to be left alone for. When my girls were younger, I would say “Mommy needs to be on the computer (or the phone) for as long as three Dora the Explorer episodes”. Now, they get it.

9.- Work during your peak hours

If you are lucky enough to be able to choose, I suggest you work during your peak hours. I´m not a morning person and I´m a lot more productive later in the day, but I cannot always take advantage of that, being a mom of young kids. I can, however, get twice as much done in the same time if I write or translate starting at around noon.

10.- Keep in touch with other free-lancers or home-based entrepreneurs

And if you have any other tip to add to mine … please share them!

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Marissa PYNK Monteilh shares her personal success as an author

I met author Marissa PYNK Monteilh online three years ago and even though we have not yet met in person, I feel like we would get along swimmingly. Monteilh is an author and her Facebook updates often include questions about relationships – for her steamy novels no doubt – that elicit streams of responses from her followers. I asked her to share her success story with me, and well – she did.

LCL .- What do you consider to be your personal success story?

MM.- My ten-year long career as a published author is my success story. I’ve been a commercial actress, Fox News reporter, model, relationship talk-show host and also worked in banking and in human resources, yet I always yearned for a profession that would allow me to explore my passion and my gift of writing. The same gift that my seventh-grade teacher acknowledged many years ago. In 1998, I penned my first book, May December Souls, which was semi-autobiographical. I shopped the manuscript around for two years and it seems it was rejected by more people than I submitted it to, however, at the recommendation of Michael Baisden, I self-published the book in 2000. By 2001, I had an agent, and thirty days later, I had a book deal with a major publisher. Thankfully, I’ve been writing at least one book per year since then. I love words. I was determined and encouraged and I’ve worked hard to learn how to write, and to complete my works. I am doing what I love to do – write.

LCL.- What are the traits that you believe helped you achieve your goal or overcome your obstacle?

MM.- My parents were both entrepreneurs and actors/entertainers with very intense creative energy. My father was a well-known tenor saxophone player and my mother owned a real estate company, among other careers. I inherited the daring, fearless natures of my mom and dad, and I always remember their encouraging words, telling me that I can do anything, and that all ideas are gifts from God, that it all depends upon whether or not you allow yourself (and others) to talk you out of the blessings. My strength and determination is in the blood.

LCL.- What people in your life have been key to your achievement?

MM.- Throughout my writing career, the people in my life who have been key to my achievement are, first and foremost, my three children. For more than a decade, they’ve believed in my writing and supported me, and they’ve been patient and understanding of my passion. Also, a great friend named Vicky Rice, who challenged me to start writing and became my discipline-coach back in 1998, held me to my promise to myself that I would finish my first book, and I will always be appreciative to her for that.

LCL.- How did you cheer yourself on during your “down” or doubtful moments?

MM.- I still have doubtful moments when I wonder if I should continue writing books. There are times when I wonder if the love I have for penning novels is requited. But still, every time I say I won’t, I do. I continue to birth another idea and the fever in me that fuels the excitement to start writing that book burns on, and so, I continue to pump out the stories. Along the way I do remember to be grateful, stop, and think back to what it was like making a living doing what I did not enjoy, and somehow, I manage to continue. I don’t know how long I will write, but for now, the little writer-light in me is still shining bright.

LCL.- In one sentence, sum up what you would tell another person who is having a hard time and would like to achieve a goal of any kind, or who is going through a difficult moment.

MM.- I would say that the hard times are actually a good sign that not only is a learned-lesson ahead, but the fruits of the labor will be so much sweeter once the storm is over - sunshine is ahead.

LCL.- Anything else you may want to add?

MM.- I’d like to add that I admire and appreciate Lorraine Ladish, not only for her accomplishments and successes, for following her dreams and doing the hard work, but also for her beautiful spirit. I am thankful for the opportunity to be a part of Success Diaries.

LCL.- (I blush)

Please follow Marissa's blogs on Novel Spaces, where she contributes along with ten other authors, and on her crusade website Just Say No to Married Men



http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Don´t Forget to Celebrate the Small Stuff!

Success can be a daunting word.

Many seem to equate success with making a 6-figure income, becoming a celebrity or achieving an apparently insurmountable goal. But, what if you make a lot of money and you hate your job? You look successful to others but you may feel like a failure.

We forget that personal success is just that - personal.

Also, any large accomplishment or success is usually the result of a lot of smaller accomplishments and successes that often go unnoticed, until you cross that finish line, which is visible to the world. Nobody sees what the runner had to go through, by training daily for months, nursing injuries and overcoming exhaustion, before he made it to the end of the marathon. You are the only one who knows what it took to tame your insecurities, to overcome writer´s block and show up at the keyboard for years – the others will see the published book and perhaps exclaim “you´re so lucky!”

We need to be our own cheerleaders and we need to acknowledge our milestones even when nobody else does. We must own our successes large or small, because they all count.

We know what success looks like from the outside, but here´s what it can look like from the inside:

- Facing a problem instead of running away from it

- Doing something that scares you

- Resubmitting a story for publication that got rejected 20 times already

- Being a rock for your kids even though the funds are low and life is tough as nails

- Getting on that treadmill when you really feel like eating 10 doughnuts instead

- Making a budget and sticking to it

- You name it …

Being there for yourself makes you an instant success. Only you see it now, but eventually, others will too.

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/