Why I Believe in People

I wrote this post exactly one year ago, on my private Facebook profile, and tagged the friends it pertained to. One year later, I am happy to say 2010 has been a much better year than the one before, and I trust that 2011 will be even better. And if not, I know that I have it in me to weather the storms of life, over and over again. Thanks to them I discovered I have a soul with stamina, and a lot of kind people around me.

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2009 was an extremely challenging year for me and my kids, although naturally the real challenges had started a few years back ...

Hardship and how one deals with it can make or break a person. I didn't break. And I didn't break not only because I have learned to develop a soul with stamina, but because there are good persons in this world. I am fortunate to know many of them. For those who do not believe in others ... I would like to share with you a list of things angels that walk the earth have done for me this year alone. I will not mention names because some asked me not to disclose the act of generosity or kindness when I thanked them and I respect that. Someone said: "This is between you and me and God" ... and it is, whatever your beliefs may be.

I hope this list rekindles your belief in people if you ever lost it. I am happy to say I haven't ....

So, THANKS to YOU who (without me asking) ...

- came to my place and pulled me out of bed at midday when I was down, and took me and my kids to get an oil change for my car and to shop for groceries and paid for it all.

- gave me your wedding and engagement rings so I could sell them and pay for bills.

- gave me boxes of cereal for my kids.

- cooked dinner for me and the girls and brought it over.

- cosigned my lease for my apartment.

- bought me a new laptop when my Macbook was stolen.

- paid for my dinner and drinks (often) when I needed to go out and have a good time with my friends.

- prepared a birthday party for me even when I wasn't sure I wanted to celebrate.

- bought my ticket to New York.

- gave me work writing blogs.

- drove me to Miami airport and back when I went to Spain in summer.

- took care of my kids so I could work or go to get my salsa fix.

- bartered services so I could have nice clothes or anything else I needed.

- filled my gas tank.

- wrote and composed a song for me. How cool is that?

- chatted with me when I needed comfort at 4 am in Spain. Thank God for friends in other countries!

- helped me move boxes and boxes and more boxes, even driving across Florida to do it.

- worked with me to get a pampering service for free, at a lower price or with a payment plan.

- paid my rent.

- gave me a great price for all my gold jewelry while I almost cried when selling it.

- held Sterling Silver Silpada shows for me just to help me out.

- connected me with someone who could give me work writing or translating.

- gave my kids clothes.

- taught me that wealth is what you have when you've lost everything.

- made sure my kids were on the list to get gifts this Christmas.

- lent me your entire jewelry display for a Silpada show.

- gave me money to go to the dentist.

- sent me recognition gifts for my jewelry business performance.

- took fantastic pictures of me for my books and jewelry biz for free.

- gave me your own stuff to sell on e bay so I could keep the money.

- paid me a compliment when I did not feel at my best.

- told me I would make it.

- changed my tire and wasted the entire morning doing it.

- respected the times I needed to be alone and came hastily when I needed company.

- performed an expensive surgery practically for free.

- accepted me for who I am.

I know there are more things, but these are the ones that come to mind right now.

People are good ... and I also believe others mirror who we are.

For that I am grateful.

THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart!

www.lorrainecladish.com

Life doesn´t wait ...

Youth often fosters rashness. We are in a hurry to do so many things ... We can´t wait to be a year older, we can´t wait for Christmas, then we can´t wait for summer, we can´t wait to be 16 to drive, 21 to drink, we can´t wait to get married and have kids, then we can´t wait to be divorced .. and on it goes.
At a certain point in life you look back and realize there is really no hurry. In my 40´s I´m realizing that life does not wait, so I no longer have that "can´t wait" feeling. In fact, I want to slam on the brakes!
Some things can and should wait, in the sense that hurrying them along does not make them better. Everything is the way it should be.
Regrets, I have a few ... but I do my best to overcome them and learn and move, always move ... like a shark. If a shark stops, it dies. Life is a long-distance run, it is a dance, it is a performance. It is never, ever a rehearsal. Every word counts, every action, every mistake and every milestone. The only time we ever have is now. Make the best of it. I do. Ok, now let´s move on ... I have books to write, children to raise, people to love ...

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Keep an Open Heart

I look around at my peers and see a lot of jaded faces, marked by frowns and tired eyes. I hear both men and women say that members of the opposite sex are untrustworthy. Many have given up completely on love, on companionship, on friendship, on intimacy ... on having it all, because of how things worked out for them in the past. Because they suffered, they do not want to risk being happy. Does that really make sense?

It may seem trite, but what we focus on becomes the truth for us, whether it be positive or negative. Why not go for the positive? I have also come to realize that we tend to see in others a reflection of ourselves.

One of the reasons I feel I get along so well with younger people is because, for the most part, they are still dreamers and idealists, as am I ...

In love as well as in life, we cannot base the future always on the past. That is not to say we should not or could not, learn from our mistakes, of course. It does mean that even if someone has betrayed us in the past, the only one we are harming by believing that everyone will betray us in the future, is ourselves. We are also depriving others of our beauty, of our companionship and our love.

Keep an open heart and fill it with your own love, as only by loving oneself can one give to others and be ready to receive love and friendship compounded. Be generous, trusting and joyful and that is what you will attract.

When the right person comes, you will know - there will be a gut feeling; no ifs and buts, no rules. Trust your gut and don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

www.lorrainecladish.com/

If you want to meet the love of your life ...

A friend shared a quote by Byron Katie with me recently: "If you want to meet the love of your life, look in the mirror". I cannot agree more. It is fair to own that I am the love of my life since it is the only person who is with me 24 hours a day. And if this does not hold true, that means I am disengaged from myself, and that in turn signifies that I am not living fully. I suspect this to be true for everybody.
I have two daughters who are my engines, but yet as Khalil Gibran said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
So, again, I am left - as we all are - with myself.
I am fortunate to enjoy solitude - but it is also important not to isolate from the world, and not to hide from it, no matter what challenges it throws our way.
By cherishing and treating ourselves as the precious being we are, we will be filled enough with love to sustain ourselves and to spill into everything we do and everyone we meet.
Look in the mirror. Who do you see?
Hopefully someone you admire, support and love unconditionally.

www.lorrainecladish.com

One for the ladies!

Now that I am a single mom by choice, I am more attuned to women my age who are without a significant other, or who are in an unhappy relationship or who are simply settling for far much less than they deserve.

Granted, love relationships are a give and take, and require a little molding here and there to adjust to the other person and, hopefully, viceversa ....

But why is it that beautiful (inside and out) capable, strong ladies are settling for bums who cannot support themselves, have drug problems or are clearly married to their careers to the extent that they will not take the chance of a lifetime to be satisfied in another very important area of their lives?????

A male friend told me today: "do not pause for anyone ... keep it moving ..." and it hit home. 

If at the beginning of a relationship he does not take time every day to call you or write you a text message, in a world where there is no excuse for no communication (I couldn't find a phone .. DUH! or .... I didn't have Internet Access ... yeah right! PUHLEASE .... ) .... later on, he will continue the same pattern and you will wonder why the heck you settled for those stale crumbs he threw your way ... 

If at first he is aloof or unwilling to go the extra mile for that trophy that is you, baby, he ain't worth your time. Take it from an expert, from someone who has researched, written and published several books on relationships, and especially lived through them and yes, survived them. So far, anyhow. 

Of course we ain't perfect either ... But I see too many qualified women settling for guys that are clearly either not that into them or simply not worth being into!  This is not only sad but indignant.

Women are emotional beings, nurturers and multitaskers. We would do anything for love; we have time and energy for love even when balancing a career, financial struggles, kids, and a hundred other obligations.

We deserve to be treated like queens because we are queens ... You need a man who is at least half the woman you are. 

If your heart tells you you deserve better .... even if you don't want to admit it to your best friends ... trust me ... you deserve better. Life does NOT wait. Move on. The love you need lies within YOU. 

Kiss as many frogs as you need to, but kiss them, and then keep on going. If you don't, you will never find that Prince you deserve and who deserves you. 

www.lorrainecladish.com