Be Fashionable, Be Fabulous, Be Yourself!

When I free-lanced for La Palma, of the Palm Beach Post, I was very fortunate to feature Monica Kennedy, founder and owner of TuffCooki Handbags. She came across as a positive, passionate and strong woman, determined to make her business soar despite being pregnant with her second baby.
Born in Madrid, Spain, she moved to the U.S. when she was 16 and obtained a BA in Business Administration. That was not her calling, however, and Monica realized she was in fact passionate about design. She launched her line of TuffCooki (her own nickname) Handbags in 2004 and 6 years and 2 children later, she is still going strong!
“Be Fashionable, Be Fabulous, Be Yourself” is her tagline. Monica started out designing and sewing a few handbags in her own home, and since then has positioned her product in online stores and brick-and-mortar boutiques. She custom-designs in small or large quantities, and enjoys what she does.
“It has been a great trip so far, with its ups and slow times, never downs to me”, says Monica. “So far I have done it alone, with my family´s support and friends who believe in the idea. I love a challenge and the harder it gets, the more I want to make it. Quitting is for losers and I am NOT a loser”, she adds with a smile. “My husband Caleb has been a great support”.
When she launched her business Monica had no experience, but she quickly learned everything from ordering, shipping and accounting to website launching, designing, sewing and selling. She says she is a one woman-shop and intends to keep it this way until the orders overwhelm her and she is no longer able to do it on her own. Monica Kennedy is living her dream, every single day.
“Before being the mother of two, I always worked and the idea of staying at home with my kids scared me in the sense that I feared I would be bored and would have too much time on my hands. So far, everything has turned out to be the opposite”, shares Monica. “Olivia, our second child, is still too young to go to school, so I take care of her, the house, the family and I work on my business. Being extra busy keeps me sane”.
Monica claims that never giving up, being organized and knowing her limits and that she has the support of her family have been key to her success. Concerning how she manages any down moments, Monica says: “I don´t waste my time dwelling on failures, there is no point. What is done, is done. My business is based on customer feedback so if there is any problem with an item I encourage them to send it back and I will fix it”.
Tuffcooki started out with just handbags and has extended her line to include embellished T-shirts, jewelry, cosmetic bags and eye pillows.

Monica Kennedy´s motto: “Life is short, never give up, dreaming is free. DO IT or you will regret it. If I did it you can (do it) too!”

To visit her store: http://www.tuffcooki.com/

Monica´s blog: http://www.alwaysinclover.blogspot.com/

To e-mail her: monica@tuffcooki.com

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

And the Winner Is - Francisco Pérez Gandul, Author of Celda 211!!!!

In 2001, I had just published The Challenge of Writing and Publishing, when I received an e-mail from an editor at a renowned newspaper in Spain. The editor was Francisco Pérez Gandul, who had read a review copy of my book, and in his e-mail he shared with me his dreams of becoming a published author and seeing his novel -a prison-thriller- be made into a film. I read his manuscript, and I gave it back to him with my impressions. I remember discussing it with him over a "caña" (Spanish draft beer) in a café in Seville. Oh, how I wish I had kept that copy! It was not my choice of literature, but the story was compelling and the writing was strong. Paco Pérez (as he is known to friends and family) and I became good friends and writing buddies.

In 2004, when I was expecting my second child, I visited him at the Sevilla Book Fair, where he was signing copies of Celda 211, and that was his first taste of success. The sales of the book were not that good, but he never lost hope for taking it to the big screen. We would talk about it, then e-mail about it when I moved to Florida. His wife Carmen wrote to me to tell me Paco had heart-trouble and  had to leave his work at the newspaper. He recovered and continued to knock on the door of production companies, until one had the guts to make it into a movie.  Celda 211 (Cell 211) has swept the Spanish Goya Film Awards (Premios Goya), with 8 Awards, to include Best Film and best Adaptation. It is a prison-thriller which features a mutiny during a prison-guard´s first day of work.The real winner of the Goya Awards is Francisco Pérez Gandul. Without his novel, the movie would not exist. Sales of the novel have sky-rocketed.

Today, when I went for my run on the beach, I ran farther and faster, motivated by my friend's success which is fuel for my own dreams and goals. Thank you and congratulations, dear Paco, and I hope to see you soon - in Hollywood!

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

The Art of Parenting

To the right, my 5 year-old drawing on her sheets. Not only did I allow her to do this; I encouraged her. It was actually her sister's idea, and I thought it was grand. Instead of buying a new set of sheets, they decorated their own! As a woman, I am often guilt-ridden because I need to juggle work, my hobbies and my writing with parenting. I know I am not alone in this.
I strive to take care of my own needs, because if mom is not ok, then she cannot take proper care of her offspring. However, sometimes we need to make choices. Today I recalled that 3 years ago, I was offered a contract to write a parenting book on commission. The catch was that I had to churn it out in a month or two. I'm a writer, and I love to write and as an author, I need to be published. Yet, after giving it some thought, I turned down the offer. I turned down the advance, I turned down writing the sure-fire book. It seemed contradictory to me to be writing a book about creative parenting if that was to affect the quality of my own parenting. I was already weighed down by free-lancing jobs and another book.
I am a writer, but mainly I am a creative person, always looking for ways to express myself - be it through dance, art, photography or simple conversation. I am also a mom, but a mom who had kids not because it was the thing to do, but because it was the thing I wanted to do. And from the very beginning I took it on as a life-project. It is just as creative for me as writing. That is why I do "different"and offbeat activities with my kids ... and that is perhaps why they are as creative as I would wish for them to be. And yet ... I struggle to keep that balance because I need to make a living, and I need to write, I need to dance, and I need to ... be a mom.

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Consistency over time ...

A couple of days ago, I was having blood drawn for my yearly check-up. The nurse looked at my arm and said: "You must work out a lot!". When I laid down for my exploration, another nurse said "You have such a flat stomach! You are so lucky!". The fact is that I do not work out as much as I would like to, and that I am not as "lucky" as some people think in that arena. It is all a matter of a trite but true concept I have recently been reminded of by others, which is: "consistency over time". Of course I am proud and happy to look like the picture here at the ripe age of 46 and with two young kids in tow! But this is largely the result of having exercised 2 to 3 times a week in some way or another for my entire life, since I was around 12. It did not happen overnight not is it the result of spending hours at the gym or starving myself today.

Consistency over time is also how I have written and published 15 books over the span of 17 years. I never waited for "the right time", when I would have money and a few days or weeks off to sit and write a book. I have always written more or less regularly, no matter what, whether single or in a relationship, with our without money or work, after deaths, marriages, separations and having babies. Life has a way of getting in the way while we are alive, and Rome was not built in one day. We seldom see the results of our actions immediately. But if we keep up a moderate effort to achieve any goal we set our minds to reaching, whether it be physical, intellectual, emotional or material, eventually it pays off.

There is no secret to getting things done, other than doing them! I am inspired when I see others pursuing their dreams, doing what they want and need to do in order to feel their life is a life worth living.
So, excuse me, since I have to work on my next book - but that will be after I go for a run and tuck my girls in bed, and once I´m done with my freelancing work on a Sunday evening while others watch the Superbowl.

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

I don´t believe in boredom

Definitions of Boredom:

Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the activities presented to them.

Boredom: a chosen state of mind brought on by laziness and the firm belief that others are in charge of the so supposedly afflicted person's own happiness.

I do not believe in boredom. I am puzzled by those who affirm they are ever bored! How is this possible? There are not enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that I enjoy doing. This is not to say I am a "Type A" personality that gets a rush out of hyperactivity. I also cherish down-time: reading, walking, thinking, napping, sleeping in, conversing, being in solitude and in silence ... And I enjoy it all.
Boredom is, as stated above, "a chosen state of mind". If you have an inquisitive mind, you will never be bored. The hunger for learning, for living, for feeling will always keep you engaged. If you enjoy reading, writing, painting, or any other form of art or self-expression, boredom is an impossibility. Even if you find yourself in a situation that is not of your choice, such as a dull job or an uninteresting party your significant other dragged you to ... If you embrace it as a learning experience, as food for your art (we all have artistic tendencies), you will find it interesting and glean something from it. You will therefore enjoy it!
I am grateful that I do not know boredom. And no, I am not being smug about it, just grateful.

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

The Power of Intention

Yesterday I was running at the beach, something I have been doing regularly since I was 12-years old. Running is my form of meditation. I was overcome by thoughts of the different times in my life when clarity of intention, visualization and then (most important), action propelled me towards my goals:
- When I was 26 and wanted to lose weight and wrote daily affirmations about it, and have been the same size ever since with the exception of my two pregnancies.
- When I wanted to write and publish my first book when I was 29, and made a mock cover and pasted it on the wall in front of my stationary bicycle. I wrote the book in less than a three weeks and it was published a few months later. Still my best-selling title, by the way.
- When I wanted to have kids and at 36 was having a hard time conceiving. I meditated and visualized and also took care of myself. When doctors were about to start hormonal treatments, I became pregnant with my first child. My second one, at 40, came a lot faster!
- When I became clear, at 46, as to what qualities I wanted in a life-time partner. A few weeks later, I met the person who embodies every single one of those qualities and I am not questioning how or why this happened. Eerie, though!
Seeing this has worked in the past, I am headed towards clarity of purpose in my profession as an author and speaker, and things are already starting to happen. What a wonderful feeling.
Intention + mechanism = results

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

My kid sets me straight!

When I was 8 years old, I was the shy, quiet, studious child of divorced parents. Now I am the mother of an 8-year old who is an outgoing, confident, studious child of divorced parents. More on my 5-year old in another blog post.
I work from home, and on the wall in front of my laptop, I have my mid-term, weekly and long-term projects listed. On another paper taped to the wall, I have my goals for 2010.
My 8-year old was doing her homework at my desk a couple of days ago, and after she finished and trotted off to take her nightly bath, I sat down to write something in my planner. I looked up at my goals, and found that my daughter had penciled some words on my visual reminders. On one of them, she finished off the title "Weekly Focus On ..." with the word "kids". Under "Long Term Projects" she added the bullet point "Being a Mommy". And under my "Goals for 2010" she wrote "Never ever give up! I love you!" and "Earn a Million Bucks!".
My first feeling was that my projects and goals lists didn´t look so pretty anymore ... but then I realized that my daughter had actually improved my lists! She certainly knows what is important! Thank you, dear Mini-me, and thank goodness, a much improved version thereof!
I don´t know about earning a million bucks though ...
BUT I have a feeling she may know something I am not yet aware of!

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Life doesn´t wait ...

Youth often fosters rashness. We are in a hurry to do so many things ... We can´t wait to be a year older, we can´t wait for Christmas, then we can´t wait for summer, we can´t wait to be 16 to drive, 21 to drink, we can´t wait to get married and have kids, then we can´t wait to be divorced .. and on it goes.
At a certain point in life you look back and realize there is really no hurry. In my 40´s I´m realizing that life does not wait, so I no longer have that "can´t wait" feeling. In fact, I want to slam on the brakes!
Some things can and should wait, in the sense that hurrying them along does not make them better. Everything is the way it should be.
Regrets, I have a few ... but I do my best to overcome them and learn and move, always move ... like a shark. If a shark stops, it dies. Life is a long-distance run, it is a dance, it is a performance. It is never, ever a rehearsal. Every word counts, every action, every mistake and every milestone. The only time we ever have is now. Make the best of it. I do. Ok, now let´s move on ... I have books to write, children to raise, people to love ...

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/

Keep an Open Heart

I look around at my peers and see a lot of jaded faces, marked by frowns and tired eyes. I hear both men and women say that members of the opposite sex are untrustworthy. Many have given up completely on love, on companionship, on friendship, on intimacy ... on having it all, because of how things worked out for them in the past. Because they suffered, they do not want to risk being happy. Does that really make sense?

It may seem trite, but what we focus on becomes the truth for us, whether it be positive or negative. Why not go for the positive? I have also come to realize that we tend to see in others a reflection of ourselves.

One of the reasons I feel I get along so well with younger people is because, for the most part, they are still dreamers and idealists, as am I ...

In love as well as in life, we cannot base the future always on the past. That is not to say we should not or could not, learn from our mistakes, of course. It does mean that even if someone has betrayed us in the past, the only one we are harming by believing that everyone will betray us in the future, is ourselves. We are also depriving others of our beauty, of our companionship and our love.

Keep an open heart and fill it with your own love, as only by loving oneself can one give to others and be ready to receive love and friendship compounded. Be generous, trusting and joyful and that is what you will attract.

When the right person comes, you will know - there will be a gut feeling; no ifs and buts, no rules. Trust your gut and don´t let anyone tell you otherwise.

www.lorrainecladish.com/

Lessons from my kids

All mothers believe their kids are special, and they are.
My kids are truly my reason for breathing. When I let myself BE in the moment and revel in them, they ground me and remind me of what is really important. Things often get worse before they get better, simply to test our resilience - those of us who have developed a soul with stamina will thrive, no matter what, and live to tell and share and teach - by example.
I will share here some of the comments my 8-year old has blown me away with and that I keep in my heart as teachings from an old soul.
"Mommy, why are you crying? It´s not like that´s going to make it start raining money!" (I laughed and hugged her).
"You need to go running - you always feel better after that". (Does she know me or what!)
"Mommy, it´s not like you have to do it all by yourself. Don´t you have a daughter with two hands who can help you out? Hello?" (This was late one night before having to lug up all my jewelry and groceries up three flights of stairs with my 5-year old asleep in the car. I was floored).
"I think you are beautiful just the way you are!"
My 5-year old tells me
"Mommy, I am in your heart and you are in mine"
The list goes on and on ....
Listen to your kids, but I mean really, LISTEN ... They are full of wisdom.

http://www.lorrainecladish.com/